However you feel when you find this is okay

My loves,

There’s no right way to feel about finding this.

You might be angry at me. You might be angry at your mother. You might be angry at yourselves, for not finding this sooner or for finding it at all. You might feel nothing, just numb, not knowing where to put any of it. All of that is okay. All of it makes sense.

If the stories you carried about me don’t fit what you’re finding here, that is hard work to reconcile. Take your time. You don’t have to sort it out in one sitting.

You don’t have to write back. You don’t have to reach out today, this month, this year, or ever. Nothing is required of you.

If reading this at all feels like betraying someone who loved you and raised you, I understand. That is a real thing children in your situation carry. You don’t have to choose between loving her and knowing me. Both can be true.

Whatever you feel is allowed. Whatever pace you read this at is the right pace. Whatever you decide to do with it is the right decision.

I’m not keeping score. I’m just here.

With all my love, Daddy